


"I shouldn’t be allowed to be this happy."

by SomePiece



Series: Flufftember 2020 [1]
Category: One Piece
Genre: 2nd person POV, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:22:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28833363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomePiece/pseuds/SomePiece
Summary: Just a little fluffy ficlet, based on the prompt in the title. Part of Flufftember challenge I was running on my blog.
Relationships: Portgas D. Ace/Original Female Character(s), Portgas D. Ace/Reader, Portgas D. Ace/You
Series: Flufftember 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2114109
Comments: 1
Kudos: 52





	"I shouldn’t be allowed to be this happy."

You tossed around in your sleep and your arm hit a void. The unusual feeling made you sober within seconds - Ace’s side of the bed was empty and cold. It wasn’t unusual for him to be awake in weird hours, but he was never going anywhere, just waiting for the sleep to come back in the same place as it had left him. You investigated the surroundings - you found his hat where he put it in the evening, as well as his jewelry, belt and the knife. But pants and shoes were missing, as well as your shirt for some reason. If it was a toilet break, he wouldn’t bother to cover himself. If he was called by Pops or one of Commanders, he wouldn’t take your clothes. If it was an attack, he would wear everything.

So the reason could be only one. ‘That episode’ again.

You quickly donned shoes and covered yourself with a housecoat. The night outside was chilly and unwelcoming, cold air hit you like a battering engine. Your basic instinct almost made you draw back and close the door - but you couldn’t, not when Ace was out there alone, struggling with his thoughts. You mantled yourself more tightly and entered the shadows of the deck. Luckily, there was always some light on the Moby Dick, so you didn’t have to risk bruises while walking around blindly. There was close to no one outside, the people on the night watch gathered around a brazier and barely paid attention to you. When you asked them if they had seen Ace, they just shrugged. Sank like a stone. You know Ace, (Name). He always been like this.

It was more an instinct than a rational thought, but you decided to follow it. Something inside was telling you that you should check the main crow’s nest, the one usually avoided by the watch on chilly nights. You had to climb shrouds beyond the reach of lights, but soon you learned it was worth the risk and trouble. Ace was there.

He was crouching next to the wall, his head low, between his knees, so you couldn’t see his face. He tugged your shirt around his neck like a shawl and embraced himself, rocking back and forth on heels in a steady, mild rhythm of ship’s movements. You called his name, silently, close to a whisper and put your hand on his shoulder. His skin, usually warm regardless of weather conditions, was cold in touch, as if his Devil Fruit power succumbed into depression together with his mind.

“Hey, can you at least look at me?”

Ace eventually rose his head and his eyes met yours. It wasn’t as bad as you were afraid - there was sadness in them, but not the emptiness you thought you were going to find. But your heart broke at this sight nevertheless - you reached towards him and cupped his face, your thumbs gently moving along his cheekbones, along the constellation of his freckles. 

“I woke up and saw you sleeping so peacefully,” he eventually broke the silence. “You were so soft and so cozy and I… Couldn’t help but stare at you and touch you and-”

He lowered his head again, his voice got muffled once again between his knees, “You were so warm and soft. I nuzzled up to your hair… And you said my name and that you love me.”

You embraced him, carefully, to not startle him. At first he froze under your touch, but slowly, so slowly, he started to lean more and more against you. You let him wrap his arms around you and put his head on your bosom. Soon, you felt the wetness - Ace was crying in silence, no sobs, no snuffles, just ugly tears falling on your housecoat and skin. He needed it, who knows for how long, and you gladly gave him the comfort he was craving.

“I was so happy.” The silence was broken once again as Ace calmed down. “So happy I thought my heart was gonna rip my chest apart and run free. I- I shouldn’t be allowed to be this happy. I am-”

“Shhh.” You were stroking his hair in a swaying rhythm he imposed on you both. “I know what you were going to say. Don’t. You are a good person. You _do_ deserve to be happy, no matter what you think of yourself.”

“(Name)-”

“Do not (Name) me here. If you can’t love yourself, at least let me love you twice as much.”

Ace sighed, his breath ghosted over your neck as he gave you a careful, wet kiss. “I truly don’t deserve you.”

You ruffled his hair and kissed him back, on the lips. The salty taste of his tears lingered between the two of you, but with every move you could feel his skin becoming warmer and warmer, as if you were pouring energy and happiness into him. Eventually you found yourself in his embrace, on his lap, with his chin resting on your shoulder and his smile curving against your skin as he peppered your jaw and neck with kisses. 

“Can we stay like this a little longer?” He purred, his face buried into you.

“Well, I wasn’t planning to get down from here in the darkness anyway.”

You both chuckled and made yourselves comfortable on your little piece of the floor. Eventually you fell asleep, but when the crispness of the dawn aroused you, you found Ace intertwining his fingers with yours and smiling in his dreams. Honestly, you didn’t have a heart to wake him up like this - so you let yourself stay like that longer. Until he woke up.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! If you liked it, I'll really appreciate, if you leave a kudo and/or a comment (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡
> 
> This was written for a request on my writing tumblr some-piece. I encourage you to visit it, since I'm far more active there. And from time to time I am open for requests ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


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